New to this forum. I have been a gambler for at least 15 years. After I first told friends and family I was around 80k in debt with maxed cards and loans from family. I had two children at the time and my husband had no idea..I hid it from him for our entire relationship. He was devastated but in the end supporting and all in all amazing. Luckily we had the finances to cover most of it (still paying off one of my relatives monthly). After that i went to GA meetings and was clean for about a year an a half and then last year I relapsed and gambled about 40K. For almost every day of that year and a half it was a struggle. I told my husband which was even harder after already doing this to our family once. I promised and meant at the time that i would never do it again. We were able to pay off that debt as well with our savings..but not even a few months later and I have done it again. I dont know what comes over me or why i cannot control this addiction. Its not even about the money at this point and i know that because right now i am down 30K and won that all back plus another 40K in profit..and still that was not enough..i managed to gamble it all away. In my mind it had to be enough to justify to my husband when i told him that i was gambling again, knowing he would be disappointed. I have to tell my husband again and i am petrified. He has been amazing but i know it is a lot to ask to accept that i have done this again, and to be honest i dont know that i wont do it again. ..I didnt think i would do it again after the first or second time..my vice is online casinos..Does anyone have any advice on what they did to truly stop? Do the thoughts of gambling ever go away?