Hi all, please bear with me because this may be long. This is a new account for this thread.
Today is my first day reading this thread and reflecting on myself after ~5 weeks of consistent chasing sports betting losses. I just turned 25 and have lost just about all $ I’ve been able to save throughout the pandemic. While peers are out taking advantage of lower prices from airlines and traveling (not necessarily the healthiest move), my goal was to save as much money as possible throughout the pandemic to be able to do what I please after the restrictions are lifted.
I prefer to bet on college basketball, and since the season started, I had been consistently winning anywhere from $50-$500 a week, betting with $50 units. After ~7 or 9 weeks, I became extremely greedy. I am terrible at sticking to my rules, though, and always end up taking dumb-ass bets from some tout on twitter who’s hot, or just some pick my buddy likes, or whatever may have you. I am a compulsive gambler. The person who says ‘don’t gamble what you don’t want to lose’, that was not me. I would rationalize with myself that I always had another way of finding the $ if it didn’t hit, or rationalize that I can always ask for more credit, etc.
A little about me, I studied finance in college and have always had sub-par savings/spending habits. I have no credit card debt (for now, not likely that will remain) and a great credit score, I had just always been a bit spend-happy on items I don’t need. I have been working under an investment advisor for a bit now, and ironically I haven’t been able to utilize an ounce of what I’ve learned when it comes to gambling. I’ve sat and watched friends and folks online make so much money trading stocks – I’m not allowed to do this stuff because our personal accounts are monitored for work – something I feel I’d be very skilled with because of what I study for work. This is where my problem began and I started to develop a nasty case of FOMO – and a feeling that the universe for some reason owes me something. I started to unbelievably feel like my “big win” was coming and I just had to keep putting the money up(becuase I had been winning deceently for a bit). This is where my biggest problem is as far as coping stems.. I can’t get over the disconnect between my personal life and professional(work) life. “Who the hell would take investment advise from someone who compulsively gambled savings away?” I keep saying over and very to myself. I had added rigorously to an investment account over the past year, that is now completely depleted and sent to my bookie. The past two weeks I have slowly realized the mistakes I’ve made, and today is my “Day 1” if you will. I’ve got more credit, but instead just telling the bookie to change my password and close my account.
My main issue is that I can’t get over the fact that I blew such a large amount (relative to me), and I just don’t know where to start. I guess I just want to say thank you to anyone who may have read this, but mainly, any advice on where to start and how to change my mindset. The ‘getting yourself back to where you were’ is less of a challenge for me. I’ve helped folks in similar situations with credit card debt through my career – it’s the toll that this is taking on my relationship with clients, my girlfriend, my bosses, etc. It has put serious harm on my mindset, confidence, demeanor, everything. I’ve even been eating less, workout less, mental health diminishing. Just need help on how to even begin with it..
IMPORTANT: I do not want to come off as though my problems are worse/more important than anyoen elses. This is just a very hard situation to grasp.
Edit: I didn’t put the amount. In the past ~5 weeks I went from up ~2k (on the year)to down ~12k – essentially all of my savings.