Day 1 – Bad relapse this week : problemgambling

Hi all, it’s my first time here and looking for any support/guidance I can find. I am 31 years old, 32 in April. I just came off a significant period of no gambling of ~6 months. Historically I would go to the casino twice a year when visiting family, and upon returning would dive into online blackjack, causing significant losses. I managed to refuse to go to the casino last time I was down to visit family and haven’t gambled for 6 months.

Last week I made the mistake of logging on to an online blackjack site. The same one I lost over $5k on last year. I thought I was being smart, starting with only $200 or $300 and cashing out after I’d made $50 to $100. My bets were low, however I was using a fool’s progressive betting scheme, nearly using it all on several hands.

Over the weekend I managed to lose $3800 in an hour and win back $4800 the next hour. I was shaking and sweating the entire time. I thought after I cashed out I would never go back to this site again. The next day I went back onto the site. I could tell I was losing control, quickly losing $2000 before managing to win back $2700. Another miracle I thought. These two wins set me up for a really bad day yesterday. I lost $3000 in an hour, and started placing $100, $200 and even $500 bets until I was down $5500. I finally cashed out at that point.

Based on my total bets over the past week I think I am overall down around $4000. I feel completely hollow knowing that I could have easily walked away with $1700 in my pocket had I just stopped while ahead. I am now down nearly $10k over the span of the year. Fortunately I still have some savings in the bank, but it feels so awful that it will be several months to get back to where I started before this new gambling binge. I really do not want to go through this again and want to find something positive to make of my situation. Has anyone been in a similar situation and managed to stop? How can I convince myself that more blackjack is not going to let me win my money back? How do I suppress this irrational part of me that thinks this is a way to easy money?

Thanks for listening

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