Some background. Live with my parents. In my early 20s. Unemployed. Suffer from anxiety and depression. Not someone who should be trading.
Relapsed. Got caught up in the GME craze. Last time I lost money was 2018 investing in various cryptos. That time it was "only" $1000 and seems I didn't learn a single thing. Now I've lost $10 000.
Invested more than I was willing to lose. Bought in at 110, 300, 320 averaging 180. Was in the green for over 100%. Felt euphoric – "wow, I made this much money, maybe I could do this for a living!". Absolutely delusional. Fantasized what I could do with the money. Started throwing more at other stocks. Couple hundred here and there. Didn't pay attention to transaction fees – which are high due to investing through my bank. Recklessly spending. Really thought the price could go up to $1000 at which point I would exit. Then Robinhood restricted trading. Price kept slowly falling. "It'll go back up", I thought. It kept falling. Down to $90. I panicked and sold. Sold at a -50% loss. Why didn't I sell earlier? Why didn't I secure my initial investment? Pure greed. Fuck me.
…Kept following reddit and the stock price. "Wow, Robinhood lifted the restrictions. GameStop named new executives. The price is going up!" Immediately went back in. Bought back in 20 shares @$100 dollars.
Have only been sleeping 3 hours a night for days now. Feel sick to my stomach and stressed out. This morning I threw up. What the fuck am I doing?
Still have around $6500 in savings, $3000 in stocks – including the GME I bought back.
Clearly playing stocks in not for me. What I'm doing isn't investing. It's gambling. I had no clear exit strategy. I told myself that I'd cash out at $1000 – but who knows if I would have?
In the end I can only blame myself. I'm so disappointed and angry at myself.
There's no way I can tell my parents. I don't want to stress them out – $10k is A LOT of money. I'm lucky in the sense that I still have savings left. My parents let me live in their house. I'm not dead – though sometimes I wish I was.
What do I do?!